24 January 2010

tales from the crypt or always read the comments & Edit, edit, edit A REPRISE


Do you read the comments? Let me just say-to get the full story-FYI-you are missing the best part(s)
Sometimes the comments exude- sometimes they get snarky-sometimes they get dark.

Whatever-they are essential reading, especially when the Anon(s) come calling. If you blog do you allow Anon. to comment? I do- however more and more I am getting comments with links to viagra, computers, increase you blog traffic,  or cloaked in -'great post-they get better and better-I have been researching_______.'  I must say I do enjoy the gushing ones-they are not many (at all) mostly the snarky Anon. can make things interesting. I have only chosen to Not publish 1 from Anon. dear Anon. and you know why- HERE.

and another thing. if you blog do you arrange to have "set" comments responding to the Comments your readers leave? Something sincere, generic? Still-I am relatively new to it all and have mostly come along by the seat of my pants or skirts-but that's another post. No glorious introductions, No behind the scenes- 'dear, let me just tell you This before you That. just Trust Me.

where is this leading- HERE- & then right Here on this very page (in the spirit, Well- just in the Spirit) Edit, edit, edit A REPRISE and the COMMENT that prompted my response below-

from ANON -on a post about Quilts(here)

I have a beautiful quilt in dark broody colours, but that's not why I'm here! Where has Edit, Edit, Edit gone? LA, why did you 'conceal' it? Please tell.

dearest Anon-& why do you conceal your identity? prerogative? I do wish you had visited it earlier. I removed the post because I had 2 old hands at blogging comment that they thought the gratuitous insipid comments I had received from Eddie Ross were Automatic ones and not true responses to my humble opinion about editing the room. I did think if this WAS the case-my own reaction was unwarranted though my opinions still stands. I am nothing if not fair- If the comments could have been read in the full context of the post- I would have left it up. But since-I found the explanation very plausible it seemed I was reacting to a phantom reply- that was unfair.I live and learn and I do know when to edit. You? If you would like a full copy of the post-send an email and I will copy you on it. pgt

oh, and anon- The moody brooding quilt sounds,Well dark.

& NOW THE post that prompted Dark and Brooding- EDIT edit edit (a reprise) dedicated to ANON(from here always and forever known as Dark and Brooding, do sign that way in future so I'll know you care)

What an exciting week in New York-alas, here I am in NC-not a bad place to be
-subsequent to the thinking of Powers that be.

Along the sidewalks of BLOOMINGDALE'S windows Gawkers gawk into living rooms
Three to be exact- the windows at BLOOMIES are blooming with rooms

 the design blogs are buzzing about a
"BIG WINDOW CHALLENGE, Featuring Apartment Therapy and ELLE DECOR- Three designers go head to head in the windows at Bloomingdale's flagship in NYC. May the most Beautiful Room Win!"

REPRESENTING Apartment Therapy is Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan founder of the site APARTMENT THERAPY-
Bloomingdale's represented by Eileen Joyce-
and the magazine ELLE DECOR- represented by Eddie Ross.

I've never met Eddie
Everyone says he's quite swell.
Today he popped in to see where I dwell

He must be quite neat with sour and sweet

He came by to comment-on a post MARC in Skirts-
But really He wanted to take a quick look-

His visit was prompted by something
I said:
A comment I left-
a thought that I had-

"Edit,edit,edit. Less would have been more in this case. All three rooms leave a lot to be desired"

to which he replied
Thanks for your sweet comment over at My Notting Hill!

I wonder how Eddie could have missed my point-
It wasn't a sweet comment-
But my honest opinion.

I applaud the hard work of all the designers- they have done an inordinate amount of work.
Voters are voting-
Bloggers are cheering- Mostly for Eddie, and I guess that is good.

Best of Luck to you Eddie-
Come back when you will
& Next time consider
Edit, edit, edit.

& NOW THE COMMENT ON THIS EDIT POST that made me edit-,the NAME has been edited to protect the-
omg. ok - little AI think this is what happens when you have someone just reading all their google alerts and responding automatically with a "thank you for your comment!" comment. worthless.the whole thank yous! is such an issue. Eddie and Jaithen are too busy to be thanking anyone - that is exactly why he doesn't get what you said. all they know is you   wrote about them, but they didn't take to read what you wrote. better to have not thanked at all.it used to be early on   in the life of design blogs that a "thank you" was good manners. It still is. but try sending "thank yous" when you get    50 comments 3 and 4 times a week. it wears you down and is impossible to keep up with it. then still, sometimes it       doesn't even mean anything, so why bother? as is exactly what happened here with Jaithen (he's the one who reads the   google alerts and sends out the thank yous.)I try to comment some, feel guilty for every comment that goes unthanked and the energy wasted on the guilt and worry is too much. uggggh. any suggestions??????                                           

to which I replied:

___(blank) sounds plausible-and that makes it pretty crazy. Oddly enough-the comment I left was on Notting Hill's post-I didn't mention his name-just the comment. And do they follow you home to your own little augury perch too? gracious!I didn't think they could possibly be reading all the comments when their images are wallpapered across the design blogs with this room image.It would be exhausting. Either way- Does that make it better or worse? Comments that are fillers? Too much, it just lacks sincerity, No? It might have been wise to remove those alerts for a week or two.It seems like the entire competition is just a popularity contest really, doesn't it? Especially when implying the way the voting is set up is somewhat advantageous to Apartment Therapy-(another robo message maybe)which I don't get at all. ___(blank) YOU are great because you tell it -like it is- and I respect that, hope you do the same. Thanks for the comment xo(and I mean that!)

 ( and yes I have deleted ALL the comments on the ORIGINAL POST in the SPIRIT of -Well, Not wanting to alienate My dear Readers, those that DO leave their NAMES and ANON. too! It's my blog and I will EDIT if I want to-
& I get to be Alice too.

(all photographs are by the fabulous Annie Leibovitz and were published in VOGUE 2009)


  1. Dearest LA
    I always read the comments. But you already know that... Interesting and/or provocative comments are an added bonus to good posts. When a variety of views are expressed the comments become required reading. Perhaps it best only to decline abusive comments (as you rightly did with one of mine!). Allow the rest.

    I did indeed read the original Edit, edit, edit and subsequent comments (think I made one). I agreed with you re ER and was intrigued that in the following days many glowing posts appeared about the room, from an assortment of bloggers. Keen to see further views on your post I was surprised to see the post removed. Curious too. In my mind I immediately linked the unexpected removal to LA's word of the day post "Conceal". Wrongly, obviously. All is now revealed.

    Continue in the intrepid fashion with which you have to date, and don't be too concerned with the views of others. You have something many of the rest of us don't, a terrific blog.

    Dark and Brooding!

  2. Dearest LA

    I have done this just for you. Now you will be able to clearly identify me, from the other anons.


    ps Maybe check spam settings re Viagra and other nuisance junk you are receiving.

    pps Obviously, no need to publish!

  3. D&B, we've got to stop meeting like this. Out here in the open with dissenting opins to the blog world. Perhaps my concealed post was indeed a subconscious post. Do you know me better than myself? Do keep me on my toes D&B.

  4. I have a personal dislike for anons. When you get attacked by them you never know if it is one in a snarky carnival hall of mirrors or many. I have chosen to use a screen name, but my comments can be linked back to a specific person with a personal point of view.

    In our email conversations you have advised me that many of the anons could be bloggers who wish for many reasons to disguise their comments. D&B seems to be such a person. In that ugly holiday dustup at Cote de Texas, one reader said software is out there to ferret out the IDs of anon commenters. I say everyone go for it. In the cover of darkness, much cowardice exists. I say expose the bastards.

    Change of topic: I thoroughly enjoyed your comments on Soodie Beasley's blog and look forward to the ongoing discussions. Perhaps here you will tell more of your personal design history and story. Home Before Dark. Not Dark and Brooding. Not Anon.

  5. 1. I do read every comment I receive and I respond to all the comments. I see it as a nice gesture to let commenters know that I appreciate the time and effort they have taken. 2. I do not allow anonymous comments. Anonymous commenters always strike me as somewhat creepy and often nasty. 3. I moderate comments and reject some-commercial/business ones, foreign language, crazies, rude, too weird. These are few and far between, but I don't want them on my blogs. 4. My blogs are my own little worlds-I put time and effort into making them beautiful, stylish, and well written. If you don't want to play by my rules, go elsewhere. 5. I have always struggled with the issue of whether to do posts about things I don't like whether it be interior designers, shelter magazines, or topics like these Bloomingdale windows. Many bloggers get so worked up about any critical analysis as snarky that I have just stayed away from critiquing anything I don't like. 6. Your blog is sophisticated and well written and quite unique. Keep it up!

  6. Home- as I say most of the anons are positive. What strikes me all the way through this twist and turn, other than live and learn, I find the blog community as a whole (the design one) very tight, very silent when it comes to honest evaluation or honest criticism. I did learn along with many other things to toughen the skin a bit, though it is hard not to have acceptance on what is created-written, designed etc. people will criticize- warranted or not. I guess I must trot off to decorno to get that. pgt

  7. Redux. All makes sense. I appreciate the feedback. I have a few Anons that add their initials who do not want to register-friends,clients so I love hearing something from them-but it would seem to make things easier w/out them. and as to 5. Very Wise, perhaps one day I will learn to keep my mouth shut. and thanks for the good word about la-appreciated. pgt

  8. I don't allow anonymous comments. It makes it just that bit too easy for the smart asses. And, if I am going to retaliate, which is inevitable, I like to have an idea as to whom I am lambasting.

    I read every comment though I do not always respond. Only because I would rather be thought of as ungrateful (which is completely to the contrary) than disingenuous or snappy.

  9. I hate that everywhere I go these days, it feels like everyone wants something from me - my phone, zip, email, mailing address (and that's just trying to buy a book or clothing). So I understand why people online prefer to be a little more coy. I do allow anonymous commenters, when they behave themselves. But no spam - I started getting spam lately, and had to instigate the infamous "type the letters you see" requirement. Which I hate!
    So wonderful about your DVF classic wrap! I love things like that that can be passed on in the family.

  10. Ahah! All is revealed as to why the post and its comments were removed, (my own included). I stand by what I wrote re the ER window, but of course your prerogative to remove and not publish. I use the spam filter, and allow anonymous comments, even if their sentiment disagrees with what I've said. It might not always be so.

  11. Perhaps its a control issue that make it so difficult for design bloggers to simply let go and let the comments flow. A major effort goes into the production of the good posts, no doubt it can be dispiriting to read negative comments after all the work. The mistake is to take it personally. Most divergent opinions (at least the ones that are published) seem to be about the topic, not the blog author. Too many authors are overly sensitive to opinions that don't meld with their own. This seems to dominate the interior design oriented blogs. It certainly is a free for all on economic/finance/politics blogs (my other passion). There I feel alternative views are actively cultivated. Whilst many of these blogs are passionate about their particular views, they are open to, and even enjoy, vigorous debate. No doubt that is why Decorno achieves so many comment responses - she puts it out there and then lets it take on a life of its own. The resulting comments are often very entertaining (more often than not the snarky ones).

    Spices things up a little, far preferable to endless "OMG Its Beautiful", "Still My Beating Heart", "I Love Domino" type comments.

    Live dangerously, allow a variety of opinions and watch your blogs evolve. Relish the debate.

    Don't get hung up on anonymous comments, after all there is not that much difference from a those that only have a screen name.

    Finally, sometimes comments from Anon. can lead to the intelligent blogger creating a post on a topic never before considered!

    Dark and Brooding

  12. HBD - a rather impassioned response, do you really receive snarky comments? Me, I am indeed Cowardly, sometimes. Snarky, occasionally. Bastard, never.

    What do you think of Girl World Decor's byline "lighten up. it's only a blog".


    LA, forgot to use my screen name on my last comment - will have to get into the habit.

  13. A bit of drama, passion, controversy is exciting...silence is dispiriting more than anything else really.

    Though I do not always send a thank you note for each comment I get, nor comment on each interesting post I read, I care a lot and the best way to express my gratitude is to keep sending new posts and hope that they will be seen as entertaining. Do we not all feel that way ?

  14. you can learn quite a bit from those who comment who have graciously taken the time to add fantastic tidbits of info to a post. decorno, i'm sorry, has everyone else do the work for her. however, since i don't like it, i don't read it. i choose only to go to blogs where i can learn things. like this one. but it is good to have diversity.

    a lot of this is like politics. which is too bad. because when all of this crap goes on, the core issue -- belief, concept, whatever -- gets lost. and it becomes who is who and how important are they and i'm going to vote for them because everybody else is... in part, i blame the media featuring certain blogs who have the biggest followers and not necessarily those who provide the meat. (disclaimer: certain blogs featured in the media are great, but others ?)

  15. Soodie
    The core of who you are, the essence of your belief, concept or vision need not be lost by allowing a diversity of opinion. In fact, the very act of allowing diverse comments may indeed validate the strength of a blog.
    I agree, Decorno, of late, frequently relies on 'close readings of the NY Times' for her posts. This does not diminish the validity nor entertainment value of her blog. It is what it is. Other blogs may rely on photographer's or designer's websites for new material - not that different really.
    Blogs may even evolve into the new media. For example, I would say anyone who relies on what they read in the press on economic matters will definitely be days, weeks, even months late on many issues and, sadly, often poorly informed. Many economic blogs provide superb, current, analysis.
    I too like to learn, hence LA being a favourite. I may learn nothing at Decorno, but I still enjoy the ride!

  16. The drama!! I do allow anonymous commenters, although I, like you, have noticed that most of them have only good things to say! I don't mind nasty commenters though, and I don't reject comments unless they're spam. Actually, sometimes I wonder where all of the nasties are... I recognize that we all have very different viewpoints and certainly different aesthetics, and I have to admit, it starts to worry me when everyone is only saying good things! I wonder, where are all of the people who find my aesthetic vomit inducing??!? I myself am horrified at some of things I like, and produce.

    This was an interesting discussion. And I've been terrible with comment response lately, but rest assured, I ALWAYS read and appreciate every single one. Lauren

  17. Soodie-Amen to everything you said. I secretly think the media promotes talentless bloggers whose only talent is self promotion-(oh that I had the nerve to give a list) on purpose. The dying print media wants people to check out these poorly written "meatless" blogs so that they think the blogosphere is a waste of time and people return to their magazines. How's that for a conspiracy theory?

  18. I like Style Redux 2's theory. Brilliant.

    “decorno, i'm sorry, has everyone else do the work for her.”

    Soodie, this is very true! There are blogs of every flavor in the design/d├ęcor arena. I particularly admire StyleCourt, for example, for maintaining an educational tone in her posts. She speaks with authority topics related to decorative arts, and it’s a reason I enjoy her blog so much. I am not at all an expert on design, and I started my blog four years ago as a place for discussion as a layperson, not an expert. I'd hate to try to sound like one. That would be so phony.

    So, while it’s true that I have “everyone else do the work” for me, I will say that what makes my blog unique is my willingness to host these conversations and to not (entirely) dictate the discussion. I think the number of comments I receive is evidence that people enjoy healthy debate and reflection on recent topics in design and decoration. I totally concede that this is “lazy,” but it’s not uninspired. My “thing” is that I am able to get people talking, and so far, they seem to enjoy it. I, too, enjoy the conversations and I am grateful for the many helpful comments people have been kind enough to share over time. Other blogs are more beautiful, more informative, or more focused on producing unique content, but that isn’t the goal of mine. Decorno is a blog for general conversation about home decoration and it’s nothing I am too interested in putting a lot of time or effort into. It’s casual, it’s fun, and that’s really the extent of my ambitions for it. I don't want a book deal or a job (I have a career, and not in design)... I just want to talk about sofas and houses, and to hear what other people think about those topics.

  19. very fair decorno. you are right on every level. i apologize for that comment. that is the great thing about the blog sphere -- diversity and different points of view -- a microcosm of a larger world. i must be accountable for my words. i am one to push for diversity and tolerance, yet i hardly demonstrated that with my comment. without understanding, we have a world with out compassion or grace. i will admit, i have been frustrated with other areas and carried it over.

    i agree with you: with the explosion of popularity of blogs and more and more people authoring them, i do thing style redux 2 has an insightful point re conspiracy theory and magazines.

  20. Oh soodie, don't even worry about it. I didn't mean to admonish at all. I totally phone it in on my blog, and you're right to call that out. I just wanted to explain that my blog needs a bit of a free pass on "laziness" since I don't have any particular ambition for it, apart from providing some mild amusement and a place to dish a bit about rooms and homes.

    And as for the other comments about self-promoting blogs, I think we all know them when we see them. Part of the problem, as I see it, isn't so much that they are so self-promoting, it's the fact that some of them are often tone-deaf and clumsy in their attempts. I try to assume this reflects the fact that most aren't great writers by nature... not that they are fundamentally obtuse people. Benefit of the doubt, in other words.

    And those poor magazines. I think they have no choice but to promote those blogs because, well, those blogs are safe and happy to promote the goings on of said magazines and related PR flacks. Nothing wrong with that, I just think it explains the happy marriage between the two.



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