22 November 2009



When scraps comes flying your way-You duck or it hits you right square in the face. The Honest Scrap- I took right in the kisser, savoring it. Being tagged by A Bloomsbury Life's Lisa is special, an amazing talent with the needle,creating modern day "samplers" with more than a bit of wit and wonder- just as she does in her blog.

Lisa tells me to share 10 random facts about myself &amp to tap seven fellow bloggers in return-

7 that inspire


Thank you to these wonderful bloggers who continually enrich my day with their own unique point of view.
 & though Home Before Dark does not write a blog, Her comments do the same.Here- an open invitation to commandeer little augury any day to lay 10 facts on us about Home.

&...10 about ME-they are not random-my posts are random enough-
and I am also a ruler breaker.

I was born in a small Southern town, as were my parents. My mother & I-both born in the same small town we have returned to. I never thought I would return.
My parents moved to Raleigh at the age of 73- High school sweethearts, about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary- My father was diagnosed with dementia- the dreaded word Alzheimer's was uttered. We added on a suite of rooms to my house making for a rambling, 5 bathroom (all tiny) house, originally built in 1911. I never thought I would live with my parents.
In 2001, we celebrated my parents 50th at OUR house on December 23 with a smashing party of over 60 guests. It was a resounding success. My father's cousin coming from Florida, his brother and his wife- there as well.Many friends came- some my parents had known since they were children. Three years earlier I had given my father a 70th birthday surprise party in the same house- at the time his great aunt, Eustean was there. Three years later she was gone. On that February day when Daddie turned 70, I never thought I would hear the words Alzheimer's and face the fact that loss was coming one way or the other.
 At the age of 42- I learned what unconditional love is all about-Something that had eluded me.Facing a failing-terribly flawed relationship- that One of absolute certainty that I was determined to make work, I asked to share my parents journey for however many years of that journey were left to them. Gathering forces- Teammates. For my mother and I, completely hopeless athletes- teamwork seems an amusing term, But for Daddie- the consummate natural athlete- It was easy. He proved to be the star once again. Bringing more joy and love into that house than ever hoped for. Always the pillar of strength, as that strength wained, his showed absolute strength in the surrender of his Independence. Watching my parents making this work- with Mother steering & Dad- allowing it. Being a part of their lives at this point, taking part, being present- I learned about unconditional love. I never thought I would know what real love is all about.

Laughter is the best medicine. When we hurt the most- Laughter carried us through.The three of us sitting amidst the profuse daffodils in the backyard after finding Daddie there-searching for a spot to garden in. Of course there was no chance he would be gardening that Summer, but He didn't know and that fact wasn't worth mentioning. He had fallen-nothing broken and no hurt feelings either. We were there to rescue him. Still over 6 feet-getting him up on his feet wasn't easy. In fact we all ended up in a sort of pile there on the ground before it was accomplished.
I never thought I would laugh so- in the face of Loss.
Loss does come. In 2004, my father died from complications due to his illness and the downward spiral in his health. I have suffered losses; Grandparents, a Beloved Aunt, a Boyfriend and a Best Friend- Hard losses. I have never felt such a sense of loss when on December 19th, Daddie finally surrendered. Gave up the fight.-that day he left OUR house, I knew He would not be back. Standing in the hospital, I glanced at my watch. It had stopped at a bit after 7 pm. I asked my brother for the time- it was after 7:30.  
What time did Daddie die?
Just a little after 7 he replied.
Of course I said.
I will never forget that moment.
I never thought I would learn so much from my parents at the age of 45.

As I digg out in the garden or actually do a hard days work, I think of my Father. These things constituted a good day for Him- a great day actually. He was a mover, a doer. I sit down to pancakes and think about the breakfasts he made for me and my brothers- pancakes with walnut faces. I return home from a trip and am reminded of the many times he did the same. I would rush out to the car and sit in the passenger side while he finished up some maps in the car. He was always glad to get home- it was his haven, his heart. I knew I would miss him. I never knew how much.
My mother and I still live together. After leaving home for good- I lived alone in Raleigh NC for over 20 years. Alone, but not lonely. Living with Mother and Daddie changed me- A gift. Now we have returned to my small hometown. I never thought I would return.
One never knows the path we will follow. Each twist and turn we think is leading us in one direction takes us in another. I have learned to Never say Never.


  1. Oh my god, I am so touched. Thank you. You always inspire me and we have a lot in common since we have a very similar radar.
    Really nice of you.

  2. Words fail me. That is really very very moving. xoxo

  3. 70? that is so young really. when you reach 55, you really realize that. this is so sweet. I hope my daughter is like you = willing to take of us, what a sweet sweet child you are!

  4. Beatiful and daring - thank you, Little A. G

  5. What a beautiful , beautiful post! So touching and tender . Sounds like you are very lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing Daddy, x

  6. Beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing a part of your personal life with us.

  7. Moving...
    Strange case of watches. I own one clock in my family for a long time but the day my father died (he maintained the engine moving) the clock stopped and the engine still doesn´t work.

  8. Thanks for having the courage to follow the path. You may not know where it is going, but you sure make it interesting.

  9. magnificent and moving. hard to read given our Father's similarities - in life, as well as to their daughters - and in their death's, but I'd wip that tear from my cheek to gallop through your memories with you any day, my friend. Be well, Catherine

  10. Something more splendid to admire about you Little Augury. It is hard work to go forward with plans in a positive way that cannot end the happiest.Rarer still to get such gifts as you have from your experiences,if one does it enriches one's life and it certainly has yours. AW

  11. Of the many things we share: we were both daddy's girl. What a lovely tribute to love and life. Never say say never: love is there to find you. Your honest scrap goes to the marrow of meaning. You are in my heart.

  12. Wonderful post. How lovely the way we come to cherish our parents as they age. Never say never indeed.

  13. What a beautiful remembrance of your father.

  14. LA,

    You are always so wonderfully infectious, like a charmed hummingbird darting here and there, leaving bits of yourself to savor and sort. But this is so unbelievably lovely, honest and real, like the luminous heart that created it.

    It is like no other loss I have known for a "daddy's girl" to lose the one compass in her life that guides, grounds and reassures. Thank you for recreating this tribute and rekindling, at least for me, all of what I feel these many days and many years later -- after losing my own dad.

    As someone else said, it is a "blessing" to have walked the earth with him.

  15. I think that that story of love and you and your father was so very beautiful. Just before getting that I was feeling blue and also feeling superfluous ... a bad time ... I read your daily augury and was so moved for the telling of pure love .You are a beautiful person.
    You are the true southern lady and your mother too and that you are giving and never taking and are quick witted and funny too.
    Anyway I welcome Little Augury in the morning. It's a wake up call and opens doors to me I never went through before.
    Love Dorothy
    Happy Thanksgiving !

  16. G -- Beautiful, beautiful post. So glad you shared this. Never say never. Words to live by.

  17. thank you all for the comments- as always we go through many things and just do it- then hearing the stories of others we think- how did they do it? Gaye

  18. Life does have a way of unraveling itself in the most extraordinary ways. However, it does take a special person to see that ~ and you little a, are one of those who sees. Thank you for these words, and most of all for including me in the "seven" ~ in that I am humbled. xo

  19. Thank you so much for sharing these moving glimpses. I can't imagine better reading for the day before Thanksgiving. What a lovely tribute to your parents and the relationship you have with them.

  20. WOW....that left me in awe of your writing talents. I felt each of your words so deeply as I read them and then returned to read them once again.
    I lost my father at the age of six and was incredibly moved by the beautiful tribute to your own father. I hope you had a lovely holiday, my dear. xoxo

  21. Yell Softly (love that name by the way-something often heard at my home growing up!) thank you for the kind words. la

  22. Mbleu- I was so blessed to have my dad for so long. My Mother's father died when she was about 13-her memories are less than -but as fresh and precious as each of mine-I know yours are the same.
    Hope you and madame greige got to catch up this holiday. GT

  23. I know I'm a few weeks delayed but I just wanted to thank you for such beautiful post...I almost lost my Dad last year so it is all very familiar and am trying to contain my tears... how well written...than you again..



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